New Book: Dude, Where’s My Fox?

Will the real fox I hooked up with please stand up?

My fourth book of 2014 (I can almost guarantee there will be fewer in 2015) is titled “Dude, Where’s My Fox?” It’s one of the Cupcake line of books from FurPlanet, coming out 9/26/14 at RainFurrest, and you can pre-order it now! It’s got a cover and five lovely illustrations by the talented BlackTeagan.

So what’s it about? Well, it’s about Lonnie, a wolf who’s just graduated from a posh Northeastern college. Along with graduation, he got an extra-cold dose of reality when his boyfriend of three years dumped him. So he’s moved down to Port City where his high school friend Derek (a part-time personal trainer at a local gym) is introducing him to the wonderful gay neighborhood of Cottage Hill (location of my stories “Weed,” “Miracle on 34th Sheath,” and “Regretrospective“).

At a particularly good party, Lonnie hooks up with a fox and then passes out after the sex. Waking with no clue to his fox’s identity except for a distinctive-smelling smear in his fur, Lonnie decides that the key to being able to move forward with his life is to find out who this fox is. Derek’s friend Jeremy proves eager enough to help, narrowing down the list of probable foxes to three, but when it comes to getting a sample to compare scents, Lonnie’s going to be on his own…

There’s lots of sex, lots of banter, some ScentBook, and brand-new characters to love and hate. Readers familiar with McMinaver’s parties and The Morning After will recognize some familiar muzzles (if you’re not, reading the above-linked stories will be a good primer).

Here’s a preview (slightly redacted for language):

Ten minutes of breathing with my head against the wall cleared my thinking a little bit more, and then I felt ready to go meet up with Derek. As I descended the wide marble staircase, I scanned the room. A six-four muscled wolf wasn’t hard to spot, and after about fifteen seconds I found Derek talking to a black rat in a red-fringed black lace vest and glittering red sequined pants. They stood a couple feet away from the extravagant island flower sculpture, which had already lost noticeable chunks. I passed a deer chewing on a hibiscus he’d clearly taken from the sculpture, and tapped Derek on the arm.

“Hey, bro!” He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and squeezed, nearly pulling me off balance. “Hey, Jeremy, this is my buddy Lonnie I was telling you about.”

The rat wasn’t the most extravagantly dressed person I’d seen that night, but he was probably the flamiest one I’d talked to. “Pleasure to meet you.” Jeremy’s voice matched his outfit, high and fancy. “What have you been getting up to?”

Derek’s nostrils flared. “He just got laid upstairs. Wanna see?”

Blood rushed to my ears as they flattened against my head. I stared at the floor, sure that everyone in the room had heard and turned in my direction. The echo of you cheated on Steven rang through my head and my tongue felt two sizes too big for my muzzle. “I, uh.”

I was panicking because Derek was actually fumbling for his phone. He laughed and punched my shoulder, dropping the phone back into his pocket. “Just kidding. Wait, you didn’t? I thought you said you wanted to get–oh, did you top?”

I couldn’t help looking at Jeremy, who was looking back expectantly. His eyebrows had been painted white, so I could see just how high they were raised. He had a lei around his neck and hibiscus petals scattered between his ears, one of which drifted down to the floor as he tilted his head at me. “Don’t worry, sweetie,” he said in a singsong voice. “Someone’s got to be on bottom, someone’s gotta be on top. Did you have a good time? That’s the point.”

“Let’s start over,” I said, sticking out a paw. “Hi. I’m Lonnie. Usually I don’t discuss my sexual pro…procliva…” I took a breath and forced my tongue to work. “Pro-cliv-it-ies with people I haven’t met.”

He laughed and shook my paw. “He can still use big words at one-thirty in the morning at a party. Oh, I like this boy. Where did you find him, Derek?”

“He went to Ford. Sorry—William J. Ford High, same as me. Only he went off to some northeastern college.” He gave me a thumbs up. “Just got back to the city couple months ago.”

“I graduated in December,” I clarified, because people usually asked that, but that wasn’t what was on the black rat’s mind.

“High school.” Jeremy turned back to me and smiled even wider, showing his front teeth. “Oh, is he the one…?”

“No,” Derek and I said at the same time.

“Pity.” The black rat looked me up and down, and his pink tail—which was decorated with a red ribbon—waved back and forth. “I’d get kicked off the football team for doing him.”

I said, “Well, I’m kinda worn out for tonight,” because it seemed politer than, “super-flamey rats aren’t really my thing.”

“Darling,” Jeremy said. “That wasn’t an invitation. It was just appreciation.”

“Don’t be flattered,” Derek said. “He’s ‘appreciated’ most of the guys here.”

“But not all.” Jeremy held up a finger, the claw painted red to match the trim on his vest. “An important distinction. So Lonnie, tell, tell. Who was the lucky fellow whose open…arms welcomed you to our fair neighborhood?”

He looked across at me, and Derek looked down. “Um,” I said. “He was a fox, about six feet tall.”

Derek’s broad smile wavered, and his eyebrows lowered along with his ears. “A fox.”

He didn’t say anything else, so I said, “He had on a…a blue shirt.”

They both waited. Derek nudged me. “Yeah? And?”

“And what?” I asked.

“Did this vulpine vision have a name?” Jeremy smiled. “Or do you have a different set of social rules for indulging in sexual proclivities than you do for discussing them?”

My ears flicked back. Derek patted me on the shoulder. “Lonnie thinks too much. I bet he’s already feeling all tail-down about having sex at a party.”

“I just don’t want to talk about it.” I uncurled my tail and tried to sound indignant.

For an extended version of this scene with language intact and more talk about sex, check out the preview excerpt on my FA page (registration and age confirmation required):

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